Dear Abby:

Dear Abby:

(found in the comments at andrewcoyne.com):

I am a crack dealer in East Vancouver who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. One of my sisters, who lives in Cloverdale, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Surrey.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Kingston for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My younger brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of neglecting his three children.

I have recently become engaged to a former Thai prostitute who is still a part-time "working girl." Her time there is limited, however, as we are working to open our own brothel with her as the manager.

My problem, of course, is this: I love my fiancee and want to be totally honest with her. But should I tell her about my cousin who voted Liberal?

Sincerely,
Ashamed in East Van

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